#Is self-love selfish?

08 Mar

#A Reflection for Women 


Selfishness: having or showing concern only for yourself and not for the needs or feelings of other people (Merriam Webster, 2016)

Self-Love:  regard for one’s own happiness or advantage (Merriam Webster, 2016)

A Mother. A Daughter. A Friend. A Girlfriend. A Wife.  A Counselor. A Student. A Graduate. A Working Professional. A CEO. A Regular Ole Gale

Which ever role or stages in life we find ourselves in the moment, we often forget to pack our gift of self perseverance with us before we head out of the door each morning.  Why? Because we  have subconsciously accepted the notion of taking care of everyone else before taking care of ourselves.  It’s a natural behavior.

So, how do we change this pattern? Well, the first thing we must determine is whether or not we believe that it is selfish to give ourselves self love? This dichotomy of selfishness vs. self-love often leaves us conflicted because we do not have to appear selfish  but we also crave to do things that is fulfilling (self-love).  Well, here is the secret.  There are healthy forms of both selfishness and self-love, called “self-care.” Self-care is defined as “actions and attitudes which contribute to the maintenance of well-being and personal health and promote human development. It reflects the love you have for yourself to others” (

Self-care is an esteem radar, remember that.

Anyone can pick up whether or not they can take advantage of our vulnerabilities for their personal gain.  Or others can pick up our positive esteem and as a result, they will respect our boundaries in life because we have generated a personal respect and appreciation for ourselves.

Often times, we fall victim to the martyr syndrome or the profile of a people pleaser because we lack the substance of self-perseverance.   We often carry a void that we try to fill through our work obligations, our family’s needs, significant other needs, or anything that makes us “feel” fulfilled.  But slowly but surely, our compassion fatigue takes a toll on our mind, body, and soul. The antidote for self love deprivation, is  self-care in other words, making time in our day to reserve for ourselves. We deserve it!

Let’s be intentional & take ownership of our love for ourselves. Let’s do it on purpose!

~Ms. Broadway Therapy


Self-care is the greatest gift I can give myself and others. I will express my gratitude to those you respect my need for self-preservation.  I will also remove myself from any situation or relationship that does not value my health, my soul, and the time I give to myself.

“You don’t get to tell people how to love you; you get to choose if you want to participate in the way they love you.” – Iyanla Vanzant

“Self-care is an act of Self-Love” -Unknown

Today is Women’s International Day, March 8

Number 8 means New Beginnings


Photo by

This month is Women’s History Month!

Let’s make history ladies!


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