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I Can’t Get Caught Up…

16 Apr

“Poetry is an instrument of expression, when we can’t find the words to say out loud.”

-Ms.Broadway Therapy #NationalPoetryMonth

In order to not “get caught up” in the madness of the world, your world, and everything outside of your control…a “reckoning must happen”…within yourself.  Whatever it is that is making you deny, avoid, or obsess over something or someone will only keep you going in circles. The best way to breakthrough the madness is to stop going around in circles and go through it…it’s the only way to make a cyclical situation break a part and form an exit path. #The Reckoning

Victory is sometimes painful.  Victory doesn’t feel victorious at times when “only you” know the cost of the pain to obtain what you’ve gained.

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NEW POEMS: About Life & Love 

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The Reckoning: When truth knocks…

My soul stripped naked.

Open and neglected.

 

Abandoned by an illusion that gave me solace.

I’m guilty, “love” was truly my only bias.

 

But “this love” pacified my denial,

leaving me vulnerable like a child who needed to be coddled.

 

Truth invaded my denial, so I attest,

I could no longer resist the arrest.

So I surrendered to God’s process.

 

I confess, lately I’ve been “faith short.”

Searching for something or someone to get me through this “change” I tried to abort.

 

Exploring inwardly of the deepest ego that shielded me from the truth.

This disaster had to happen in order for me to embrace the truth.

 

My heart began to fill up with grief.

Mourning over the “what if’s” and “should of been.”

Sinking into self-pity.

I began to drown in my pain,

until I realized I am not wrestling against pain, but with change.

 

Grief anchored & weighed down my soul.

I was falling into a bottomless hole.

Wondering how could someone be so cruel.

 

Suffocating my mind with old thoughts.

Replaying every single part,

that stung me like a fiery dart.

The more I indulged in what I couldn’t understand,

The less I could fight off the demons inside my head.

 

Pride was my foe whom I trusted to shield me from humiliation of many.

The worst thing to feel when you’re down is someone else’s self-righteous pity.

 

Remaining a victim was not an option.

So I laid down my pride, and took each step with caution.

Facing who I am, and whom I’ve become.

Making peace with all that I’ve lost in exchange to gain peace & a new outcome.

 

Now, I can say,

“When truth invades your denial don’t resist the arrest,

for it will surely come disguised as a test to break your ego at best.”

 

Once your ego is broken,

it will redefine your perception

& reroute your direction…for the best.


 

  The Reckoning: When truth settles in…

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I can’t get caught up,

For the Lord has settled my soul.

 

I don’t have time to keep addressing false perceptions,

Or retaking the same lessons.

 

I don’t have time to prove a point or document every lie,

For the greatest evidence is revealed as time goes by.

 

I don’t have the time nor the energy to be mad at you.

Being spiteful won’t change the fact that I still love you.

Some may find this pathetic,

but I call it authentic.

 

It is…what it is

And what will be…will be.

That is all that concerns me.

 

I have to keep mine eyes to the hills,

and climb higher than my offensives

because focusing on them will not dismiss them.

 

I must keep climbing the hills designed as mirrors.

 

My reflection is my greatest daily battle.

Remaining true is the only road I want to travel.

 

No more of my time will be wasted

on something that God has orchestrated.

 

Neither will I try to fix

what no longer seems to mix nor fit.

 

The colors of the past doesn’t need to be defined.

All that matter now, is the path ahead is clear without blurry lines.

 

I can’t get caught up in guilt,

after I’ve tried over and over to rebuild.

 

It’s not that it wasn’t meant to be,

It’s just that now, this route is no longer for me.

 

I’ve accepted that some things I can’t afford.

Literally, mentally, and emotionally…

I wish I could,

But no matter how much I try or give into it….each time I am still left with a void.

Nothing will ever change unless the recipient values what’s being sold.

 

I won’t force myself to find the words when I am left speechless.

I’ll rest in the unspeakable truth that resonates with my soul like silent kisses.

 

I won’t try to make sense of everything that left me clueless,

I will surrender to the unknown, for it has become total bliss.

 

Now, all I am searching for is the deepest inner resolution,

instead of waiting for closure and validation.

 

I am stronger than a disappoint or failed actions.

I can live on…I will live on…as I block out every distraction.

 

I count myself not be apprehended, but this one thing I do know….

I press towards the mark of a higher calling. (Phil 3:13-21)

 

The Lord revived me when I gave up & began inwardly dying. #Salvation

Because He decided my life is yet still worth living….

I am compelled to find out why by embarking on a new beginning.

 

His loyalty to me is a debt I can never repay,

but I will start by appreciating each breath I take…

 

Making each moment count,

and appreciating everything I still have left. #Gratitude

 

Out of my distress, I am now refreshed.



Caught Up_April 2016

 APRIL FOCUS

Start reckoning with one thing at a time. It will free you.

Life Quote:

“Your story is a life of transition. You are always leaving one chapter behind, while moving on to the next.”

Scripture: 

Philippians 4:11-13 “The secret of contentment.”

11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength.



Walking Shoes by Mali Music

 

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